Derby Dames

Hey everybody! Welcome to Workout of the Week. This week you get an honorary roller derby name ... "Fitness Fiends". In case you didn't know, there is an international registry for roller derby names and it's serious ... so don't even think about ripping off great ones like "Bloody Mary" or "Amber Waves of Pain."

Sonya and I have tackled quite a few fitness challenges so far, but none of them required helmets and knee pads... this week's does! We need the protective gear because we're lacing up roller skates. This is practice with the Des Moines Derby Dames. Our coach is Showstopper and she's all busienss. "I'm pushing them to go beyond what they think their limits are, really..." she says with a grin.

We're just struggling to skate, and then we learn there's much more to this workout on wheels. Wall squats and planks follow sprints around the rink and we're convinced this is the longest two hours of our lives. "You gotta skate past the tired," says Showstopper, "it's a whole new level."

We spend more time on our rear ends than our our skates - keep in mind it's been at least two decades since we've even taken a leisurely spin around a rink. We aren't even thinking about hitting and blocking, but for some on the team, it's second nature. "Yeah, they call me Shoulders, but my real name is Elbow. But you can't use your elbow ... it's a foul." Elbow MacFearson loves the fierce competition, and the workout. "I'm horrible about the gym. I have a membership I never use. I need someone ordering me around like Showstopper does." And there's a reason we won't be taking part in the scrimmage. Elbow's suffered a broken hand and ligament damage! "I've seen it all, " she says, "compound fractures, blood on the rink. Hot Lips broke her elbow, it was bad!"

We decide we'll stick to stumbling around the rink like the rookies we are, even though the Derby Dames insist we could join the team ... eventually. "If you can train well and you're willing to be coached," says Showstopper, "you can do anything!"

You can catch the Des Moines Derby Dames in action this Saturday at 7pm at the 7 Flags Events Center.

In the meantime... check out some derby names I came up with ... :)

Sonya Hitshusen
Sonya Slam Master
Sonya Make U So Sore
Heitshusen the Hitter

Erin Blockavich
Erin Go Bad
Erin the Exterminator
Kiernan the Crusher

EEK
Erin.Kiernan@whotv.com